Фап Клуб Развратного Приста
-
<Ned> rofl
<Ned> Sud N' Fud
<Ned> When trying to bang a girl, she gives that same old story, "I not that kind of girl.", "I don't fuck on the first date.", "I'm catholic.", "Stop asshole.", etc. etc... After hearing all this bullshit, you whip out your handy bar of soap. Then lather up her armpit (or any other joint you prefer), and proceed to fuck that instead
<CB[UN1]> you forgot the usual line
<CB[UN1]> "hey stop im only 12"
<iX|Blue|afk> lol
<iX|Blue|afk> i usually get "woof bark bark" -
RoninChaos: She's like "I tried on this dress, and I looked like a bride". WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU CRY ABOUT THAT?!
RoninChaos: I don't cry when I put on a tux.
RokChik: lol, she cried b/c she wants TO BE a bride
RoninChaos: she's supposed to be getting married
RoninChaos: And she wants me to relate or some shit. I can't do that.
RoninChaos: Like I said, when I put on a tux, I don't think "oh dear god, this is what I'll look like when I get married!" and then start fanning myself.
RoninChaos: Oh fuck, now she's talking about how nice the sleeves are. "Aren't they nice? They're so great". THEY'RE FUCKING SLEEVES!RoninChaos: I mean, god damn! WTF does she want from me!?
RoninChaos: Okay, I think that gun is around here somewhere... -
<su3050> i nearly had the courage to talk to a girl today, luckily i phoned a friend and we went to a LAN party instead
-
<Al> you left a burning bag of dogshit on the doorstep of my heart
-
Яркий пример американского "юмора" - иностранцы далеко не всегда поймут шутку про горящее дерьмо у двери.
-
<Tenchi147> if you were in a shower with another guy and he droped the soup
<Tenchi147> would you do anything?
<Oolong^Pokemon> not if it wasn't my boyfriend
<Oolong^Pokemon> hell no
<Tenchi147> I am not thinking while typeing
<Tenchi147> I am going to shut up now
<Katarica> If I was in the shower and another girl dropped the soup
<Katarica> I would wonder why the HELL she was eating soup in the fucking shower -
ололол
<Kazak> man I am bored, Im gonna try some weird shit
<Nash> uh oh
<Kazak> HOLY FUCKING BLOODY HELL!
<Nash> ?!
<Kazak> I PUT A STAPLE THROUGH MY DICK!
<Nash> HOLY SHIT!
<Nash> You really are a crazy bastard!
*Killer_jeep has joined the conversation.
<Kazak> good fucking hell this hurts LIKE HELL
<Killer_jeep> What?
<Nash> he put a staple thru his dick
<Killer_jeep> DEAR GOD
*Killer_jeep has left the conversation.
<Kazak> shit now I have to piss! Brb
<Nash> this can’t be good
<Kazak> BITCH ASS MOTHER FUCK!
<Nash> what happened!
*Darkness has joined the conversation.
<Kazak> the piss flew out of the staple holes
<Darkness> WTF!?
*Darkness has left the conversation.
<Kazak> I had to straddle the toilet to get it in!
<Nash> are you gonna go to the ER?
<Kazak> are you crazy? no fucking way
<Nash> well try pulling it out
<Kazak> I can’t it hurts like hell if I try!
<Nash> well it has to come out sooner or later.
<Nash> better off sooner, before anyone sees you.
<Kazak> GODDAM THIS HURTS
<Nash> its your own fault, you know.
<Kazak> shutup! augh this hurts!!!
<Kazak> GRGGRFFFFDJH~!!11
*Aaron has joined the conversation
<Aaron> whats up guys?
<Nash> The crazy bastard put a staple through his dick
<Aaron> FUCKING HELL
*Aaron has left the conversation.
<Kazak> THANK GOD!!! I got it out!!!
<Nash> right…what about the holes?
<Kazak> uhh…
*Malaina has joined the conversation.
<Kazak> I’ll have to cover my dick with band-aids.
<Malaina> what the hell are you talking about?
<Kazak> oh shit. Nash, don’t!!!!
<Nash> your boyfriend put a staple through his dick
<Malaina> FUCKING HELL YOU SICK BASTARD!
*Malaina has left the conversation. -
пацталом -
Fairytalehero: ok, so someitmes me and kel shower together
Fairytalehero: and i'll have to pee. so i go "hey kel, look at this" or something, and start PEEING ON HER
Fairytalehero: she gets so mad and tries to block it
Fairytalehero: but i'm like HAHA I'M PEEING ON YOUR HAND -
слушаю Мэнсона.
тру мужик 100500. -
о ужас)
-
http://www.kplo.ru/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=518&Itemid=5
%(pink)[]
Заяц, да я смотрю девушка ф тебя влюблена XD -
мне кроме тебя никого не надо ж)
-
<tobester> thats like being with a hot chick all night and then you go "hey I gotta piss ill be right back" and she goes "I'll join you" and you think you're about to get a handjob but really she just needs to piss and takes the urinal next to yours and hasa bigger penis than yours
-
<kszer0> sometimes I forgot I'm naked
<kszer0> and I'll go outside
DeBruce coveres his eyes
kszer0 bends over to pick up a penny
Hiroshirou rams zero like no tommorow -
@"Одинокий-Странник":
Яркий пример американского "юмора" - иностранцы далеко не всегда поймут шутку про горящее дерьмо у двери.яркий пример русского, makes fun of an american based on a single quote, not taking into consideration that only the dumb americans, just like dumb russians, will think the joke is funny -
@"Развратный-Прист.":
слушаю Мэнсона.тру мужик 100500.гг)) все уже выросли, а ты только начинаешь
его книгу читал? -
нед
-
[04:32] (%craigr000) WHAT THE FUCK
<%craigr000> FOR ONCE I'M HAVING AN EROTIC DREAM
<%craigr000> AND I AWAKEN TO MY FUCKIN MOM
<%craigr000> HITTING ME AND TELLING ME I HAVE TO SCRUB THE WALLS
<%craigr000> I MEAN IT'S OBVIOUS THE ONLY PLACE I'M GONNA GET ANY ACTION IN A LONG ASS TIME IS IN THE REALM OF SLEEP. THANKS MOM. THANKS A LOT. -
<v_9>FUCK
<v_9>SHIT
<v_9>DAMNBITCHTOHELL
<v_9>i was just surfing throuh porn, then i was just stopped wanking it
<v_9>you know, going to a different url
<v_9>then all of a sudden,
<v_9>A FUCKING FLY LANDED ON MY MUSHROOM CAP
<v_9>THE SHIT HURT LIKE A MUHER FUCKER
<v_9>i mangaed to get a book real fast
<v_9>then made another mistake.
<v_9>i slammed the book right onto my shlong
<v_9>and part of the fly was dripping down to my balls.
<v_9>:/
